As a daughter, my mother is my mother. As a family caregiver, my mother is my customer / client: she gets services from me. As a village maker, neighbors are my primary customers. Or people who’ll “buy into” caring for folks nearby. The idea for Vertical Village Alliance grew directly from my childhood as an…Continue reading Making what’s missing to serve your “customers”
Care crisis or prosperity opportunities?
I told a friend that I’m ditching the phrase “care crisis,” which I picked up from someone else in the first place. That isn’t to say that all is well in the world of care, but that problems and solutions can’t occupy our brains at the same time. When we call something a crisis, we…Continue reading Care crisis or prosperity opportunities?
Working until death: a fate for many with disabilities
It was obvious once I heard it but, to my embarrassment, it hadn’t occurred to me before: When Black people were fighting to sit at the front of the bus, people with disabilities were fighting to get on the damned things. Fast forward many years from my “how didn’t I see that?” moment ’til now….Continue reading Working until death: a fate for many with disabilities
Making a minimum viable village
There’s a saying that goes, “If you want to take the island, burn the boats.” Attributed to different people, it means “if you’re determined to advance, eliminate your means of retreat.” Like when I quit my job vs. taking a sick leave of absence: the latter would have let me return easily if the going…Continue reading Making a minimum viable village
5 wishes, 2 solo agers and a lockbox
“Sarah” wondered if I might have advice to help her help a friend, “Grace.” While getting the background, I discovered that Grace is a “solo ager,” a term used to describe an adult, or couple, aging without the support of children or other close relatives. Grace hadn’t been picking up her phone following a recent…Continue reading 5 wishes, 2 solo agers and a lockbox
Telling Mom it’s time to move and other tricky care conversations
My friend put his face close to mine looking eager for an answer to his question: “How did you get your parents to leave their house?” he wanted to know. Sadly, my answer didn’t help him much because my father’s doctor literally ordered him out of my parents’ three-story house to avoid stairs, which was…Continue reading Telling Mom it’s time to move and other tricky care conversations
Paper: A simple tool for better care
The nurse in the emergency room seemed annoyed: “Where do they normally put your father’s IV?” he huffed, as if my father got IV lines a lot. “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “He hasn’t had one while I’ve been his caregiver.” The doctor came in while the nurse was doing his thing and peppered me…Continue reading Paper: A simple tool for better care
Using collagen and chlorophyll for health & treating bedsores
Apparently, my father’s skin was a topic of conversation among his hospice team for how beautiful it was. Nature was certainly on his side but it also helped that I gave him collagen. Collagen is a protein found in skin, bones, connective tissue & elsewhere in the body. Beef tendon is a staple in some…Continue reading Using collagen and chlorophyll for health & treating bedsores
Wound care’s growing potential to hold workers hostage
Locking down at home was nothing new for many workers. As caregivers, some of us had been in quasi lockdown for years before 2020, unable to leave the house for more than 1-2 hours to meet the needs of loved ones requiring constant care. That said, at one point while caregiving for my father it…Continue reading Wound care’s growing potential to hold workers hostage
Getting paid as a family caregiver
According to the Family Caregiving Alliance, questions about getting paid as a family caregiver are the most frequent they get, so I thought that I’d share how I’ve made it happen. But be advised that you may not be able to make it work. HOWEVER, there may be low- to no-cost help to be had….Continue reading Getting paid as a family caregiver