There’s a saying that goes, “If you want to take the island, burn the boats.” Attributed to different people, it means “if you’re determined to advance, eliminate your means of retreat.” Like when I quit my job vs. taking a sick leave of absence: the latter would have let me return easily if the going…Continue reading Making a minimum viable village
5 wishes, 2 solo agers and a lockbox
“Sarah” wondered if I might have advice to help her help a friend, “Grace.” While getting the background, I discovered that Grace is a “solo ager,” a term used to describe an adult, or couple, aging without the support of children or other close relatives. Grace hadn’t been picking up her phone following a recent…Continue reading 5 wishes, 2 solo agers and a lockbox
Telling Mom it’s time to move and other tricky care conversations
My friend put his face close to mine looking eager for an answer to his question: “How did you get your parents to leave their house?” he wanted to know. Sadly, my answer didn’t help him much because my father’s doctor literally ordered him out of my parents’ three-story house to avoid stairs, which was…Continue reading Telling Mom it’s time to move and other tricky care conversations
Paper: A simple tool for better care
The nurse in the emergency room seemed annoyed: “Where do they normally put your father’s IV?” he huffed, as if my father got IV lines a lot. “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “He hasn’t had one while I’ve been his caregiver.” The doctor came in while the nurse was doing his thing and peppered me…Continue reading Paper: A simple tool for better care
Using collagen and chlorophyll for health & treating bedsores
Apparently, my father’s skin was a topic of conversation among his hospice team for how beautiful it was. Nature was certainly on his side but it also helped that I gave him collagen. Collagen is a protein found in skin, bones, connective tissue & elsewhere in the body. Beef tendon is a staple in some…Continue reading Using collagen and chlorophyll for health & treating bedsores
Wound care’s growing potential to hold workers hostage
Locking down at home was nothing new for many workers. As caregivers, some of us had been in quasi lockdown for years before 2020, unable to leave the house for more than 1-2 hours to meet the needs of loved ones requiring constant care. That said, at one point while caregiving for my father it…Continue reading Wound care’s growing potential to hold workers hostage
Getting paid as a family caregiver
According to the Family Caregiving Alliance, questions about getting paid as a family caregiver are the most frequent they get, so I thought that I’d share how I’ve made it happen. But be advised that you may not be able to make it work. HOWEVER, there may be low- to no-cost help to be had….Continue reading Getting paid as a family caregiver
An app to start a personal village in minutes
Talk about a champagne problem: Amanda had folks squabbling over time slots to care for her mother. How did this “problem” happen? With help from the ianacare app. iana = I am not alone. ianacare app = a way to get care support in 3 easy steps: 1. Invite a care team—village members—and keep them…Continue reading An app to start a personal village in minutes
Starting a personal village in five simple steps
My connection with my former neighbor deepened in the parking garage: With one load of groceries by the elevator, she was trudging from her car with load #2 with baby on hip and phone to ear. Not wanting to interrupt her conversation, I mouthed, “I got it,” while relieving her of a bag carrying a…Continue reading Starting a personal village in five simple steps
Making a normal day ideal for someone
Walter refused what would have been his 9th hospital admission that year. “You run a great hospital, Doc,” he said to Bruce Leff, “but it’s a lousy hotel.” It was the ‘80s and Leff, a Johns Hopkins geriatrician who was then a resident, responded by working with his mentors to assemble everything that Walter would…Continue reading Making a normal day ideal for someone